Am I really writing about this?
I didn’t think I had to, seeing how this is such an old problem and you’d think people would know better. Turns out, there is still a whole slew of girls with zero sense out there.
Okokok…so I’m a touch extra bitchy this morning seeing how I don’t ever get to have enough sleep, have no surface in my room (which is also filled with crap and boxes) to iron which basically makes me wear jeans and high tops everyday to work; which without a doubt is what’s making people treat me like a junior. Every time I step out of my house I see poverty and despair and faces of meth, and really living in the ghetto has lost it’s novelty.
Here is a tip, if anyone ever offers you a super fab apartment on the wrong side of the tracks, politely decline and look for something that is just ok in a fab part of town. You’d think your fab place would make you happy and make up for the ghettoness, but it really doesn’t.
It makes you want to drink 40s on the stoop while Biz Markie blasts from the stereo. And while in a cool neighborhood this makes you awesome and into old school hip hop, in a ghetto hood this, without a doubt leads to a crank addiction, and to feeling like a failure.
But I digress.
What I actually want to talk about today is how girls still have absolutely no idea how to dress themselves.
This weekend as I was driving from one major North American city to another I noticed a horrible trend.
Girls seem to have taken to wearing yoga pants on a road trip.
Understandably so, as yoga pants are comfortable and easy. Personally I am of the opinion that if you wear yoga pants anywhere outside of yoga ( or on the way to yoga or from yoga, with camping as a potential exception to the rule… Yoga pants and camping are ok) you should be taken out back and slapped around a bunch until you get some common sense slapped into that annoying head of yours. Just from that I can tell that you were that girl who wore the plaid pijama pants to class in uni and I wished you would pull yourself together even back then.
Let’s continue… I saw yoga pants more times than I can count on various women of various ages. But not only did these girls wear totally stupid looking pants in public, they were also pairing them with the worst footwear possible.
I saw yoga pants with UGGS (which pretty much makes me hiss and spit like an angry cat), yoga pants with high heels (really! What the eff?), and for la piece de resistance - yoga pants with cowboy boots.
This makes me sad for the world.
I wish I had some advice here but all I can tell you is that dressing for a road trip can involve many comfortable items that do not involve yoga pants.
I am starting to give up in humanity.
It’s perfect layering season.
Nice cardis with scarves, your most buttery leather jacket and cute beanies. This is a good time for fashion and makes me almost forget about all the short shorts I can no longer wear… almost.
There is one dreadful aspect of Autumn dressing that I have to talk about this week: UGGS!
Yes, it’s that time of year AGAIN!!! Every year I pray to the shoe gods, hoping that this season the atrocious ‘trend’ for UGGS will have finally ended. Sadly, girls emerge after a summer of wearing bearable footwear, like clockwork, looking like they strapped loaves of bread to their feet.
I just got a panicky SMS from my friend PTK in NYC saying that he had his first UGG spotting of the season, and now I am dreading the moment it happens to me. I don’t care how comfy they are. I don’t care that they feel like you’re putting your feet into a dream. I don’t care that all your other shoes, except for those ones got eaten by your dog. If you wear UGGS you look stupid.
People got over Crocs and those ridiculous, and might I add useless, ShapeUps but for some reason UGGS keep sticking, like that bad one night stand that just won’t stop texting you. For the record, I would rather cut off my feet and set fire to them, than go anywhere near those monstrosities.
Let’s look at things from a practical side, most places where it is actually cold enough to wear sheep lined footwear are also places that are rainy and slushy and there is really nothing less attractive than filthy, muddy, salt stained UGGS.
Bitch, pull yourself together, you look sloppy!
There is only one place where such shoes are ok, and that is their original purpose, which is après surfing. I am pretty sure that only about 2% suburban princesses in North America have ever tried to ride a wave, and I just don’t understand why one would make herself look extra unattractive on purpose.
Is it because your ass is so big that you are trying to make it appear smaller by setting off the proportions by giving yourself giant cartoon feet? I really cannot think of any other benefits.
Please say no to UGGS this winter season, there are much better footwear options that are just as warm and cozy.
As a side note I would like to announce that after years of not really getting it, I have finally decided to start a Modern Hussy Twitter account . I am not sure why I would REALLY need it since Hussy Tumblr posts appear directly in Hussy Facebook … And now blog posts go to Twitter and Twitter tweets to Facebook, but somehow I feel kinda like I’m technologically forming like social networking Voltron.
So there! You can follow me (if you want) @ModernHussy if u are interested in daily semi dramatic ramblings in the life of a Hussy!