I was trying on some outfits a few days ago, in hopes of finding something New Year’s Eve worthy in the closet at my parent’s house. My very curious and opinionated mom was watching this with her always critical eye. When outfit number 3 came on, Mom stated:’ If you are planning your New Year’s Eve outfit, you should wear the first thing’.
‘WHY??? Do I look fat in this???’ I questioned. Apparently I did not look fat, but it took much prying and further questioning to understand, and thus today’s post was inspired.
Please note that my mom is fairly traditional with old world views on relations between males and females. Views which, as a teenager I refused to agree with, but now, some years later I am finally understanding, and wish I had listened to her in the past. Mama knows. Mom’s mentality regarding my New Year’s attire makes a lot of sense. So ladies, as you start to plan how to primp up for the big night, I thought I would relate some of Mom wisdom to all of you.
Outfit No. 1 is the least revealing but it is original and different than the standard bar outfit.
Outfit No. 2 is a little black dress. A classic.
Outfit No. 3 is form fitting and makes me look like an amazon vixen.
Obviously all three are black and involve ridiculously high footwear. (Duh)
For the New Year’s Celebration the Hussy will be attending several events with her also single best friend in tow. All girls believe in the magic of New Year’s Eve even though we will probably be mostly surrounded with couples.
This is precisely the reason why Mom prefers Outfit No.1 over Outfit No.3:
‘When attending an event where there are many couples present, the single girl must stand out by being original, not slutty. Being overly naked or sexy will make all the girls in relationships hate the single girl, and make all the boys in relationships lust after the single girl, which will get them in trouble with their girlfriends, which will in turn, make them resent the single girl and land her the reputation of being a desperate home wrecking skank.’
*please note that I am paraphrasing. My mom would never use the word skank*
Mom’s opinion on outfit No.2:
‘BORING. This will make you look like you are wearing a uniform, and no one could pick you out of a line up.’
Obviously, the choice of outfit depends on the objective for the evening. If you are looking for a hook up, Outfit No.3 is definitely the way to go. Tart it up, my friend, and throw your cat at any eligible bachelor! But if you are looking to meet some new people and are interested in substantial relationship as a long term objective opt out for looking cute and original, instead of trashy or overly sexy.
I asked Mom: ‘What about about girls in relationships?’, her reply?
‘Girls in relationships can wear whatever they want.‘
Most boys enjoy knowing that their S.O. is the hottest vampiest thing in the room. Obviously if the boyfriend is the overly jealous type he might have an issue with his lady dressing like a tramp. If your man suffers from unexplained jealousy, you probably have a much bigger problem at hand, than just the length of your skirt. However, dressing a little provocatively will remind your man what a hot vixen you are. According to the book ‘Sex at Dawn’ by C. Ryan and C Jetha (which the Hussy has recently read and highly recommends), mating habits of polygamous tribes encouraged sperm competition between the many lovers of the female. Only the strongest were able to impregnate the female (as a final objective), which caused the males to have much higher sex drives (a.k.a. more fun for the female). In today’s monogamy obsessed world, the male already knows he is probably going to get some with his lady at the end of the evening and this is a bit of a buzzkill for his sexual conqueror instinct. Knowing that other men find his girl attractive might just bring back some of that healthy competition.
*Girls in relationships, please note that I am NOT advocating flirting with other dudes to make your man jealous, I am only suggesting that you dress up extra special to guarantee some fun for YOU.*
Happy New Year’s from the Modern Hussy!!!