modern hussy's etiquette

‘Taste’ has been a recent buzzword in my life.

As in ”She (or he) has really good taste. “

I have been thinking about this a lot, because frankly I often disagree with the statement being stated about certain people.

This has lead me to start analyzing what is taste. Some people will swear that the big fashion houses are what dictates taste. Bloggers will define good taste as a mix of vintage finds and expensive items all photographed on themselves by their gay boyfriends. And then there is the world of fast fashion which is a whole other can of worms.

Let’s start with fast fashion.

Do people who shop at H&M and Zara have good taste? You can get the full rip off of the Balenciaga collection at Zara about a month after runway, yet it is also cheap, badly manufactured crap that falls apart and starts pilling after four wears. Zara is amazing at merchandising, giving you the full look option making you look very well put together. You don’t really need to use your brain if you are a ‘Zara girl’, but also you are more than guaranteed to run into someone wearing the exact same outfit as you.

I think we can agree that people with taste have originality and wearing the same outfit as every bitch in town is the opposite of that. Buying key pieces here and there to merge with other finds is ok, but if you run to HM every week to get the item of the moment you are just adding to the landfills. Polluting is not sexy!

Bloggers are a herd of their own. It must be nice to be a SusieBubble or a Blonde Salad or Sea of Shoes… Running off to fashion shows, collaborating with key brands, and being adored by girl fans around the world.

But really… Who says that these girls know where it’s at with fashion?

Have you seen their outfits?

Half the time I cringe with disgust as they mix attrotious prints, wear costume like contraptions, and vouch for items that are never going to be a trend. It’s really great that you wore plaid jodhpurs with pointy white ankle boots, a vintage Dolce flower printed blouse and a hat with a feather on it! But note that being weird and different does not automatically get you an A+ in taste.

While following blogs is a fun distraction, I hardly see them as THE bible of style.

This leads us to the fashion houses.

When time for runway comes, fashionistas all over the world get their panties bunched up trying to figure out who will have the ‘it’ piece this season. Personally, i like about 5 designers and really cant get on board with models who look like old Russian grandmothers or ugly dudes.

But who buys this crap? Even the ready to wear?

Women with large amounts of disposable income, that’s who.

Frankly running out to get a gold Balmain blazer for 7000$ every season is hardly a true test of good taste. Also, let’s think about who in the world has large amounts of disposable income (not counting famous people)….

1. Old rich ladies,

2. Young girls married to rich dudes.

Soooooo if we say that the fashion houses set the pace, yet the only people who wear the brands are the two aforementioned groups, then we are really letting old rich ladies and golddiggers set the tone for good taste?

Really? Sorry, but you don’t automatically have good taste if you own vintage Chanel, and money can’t buy good taste.

My friend LK who has excellent taste states:

“the first step in having good taste is caring about details and investing in well made basics that will last and building on them each season. you may just need a new scarf or pair of pants to update your look. you will probably spend the same amount of money as someone who goes crazy and buys 5 pairs of cheap shoes /10 sweaters / 3 coats blahblahblah each season.

I would rather support a designer who has spent years cultivating a style. they should get paid. i’m against blatant knock offs. choosing a few designers you are into can help limit your fashion choices and helps you build a personal style. you won’t need to overhaul your wardrobe every season and still look current. how would you chose something otherwise?? there are so many choices you will just be tempted to buy everything all the time “

Fully agree, LK.

To sum up, good taste can be interpreted in different ways by different people, and most importantly- taste is subjective. So the next time you hear that someone has really good taste, don’t just blindly believe it, form you own opinion.

This week’s post comes to us via a question from my dear friend TLD.

She writes:
You know what i’ve been wondering lately, Hussy? should i be dressing differently now that i’m 30? i think about it in my jean cutoffs and ppl are condescending to me cuz they think i’m 20…

This is a very valid question, made even more valid by the fact that TLD looks much younger than she is. This happens to a lot of people I know in their thirties (self included)… Most of us have jobs that do not require a true business wardrobe and most stores now carry items that blur the line between teen and adult. As a result, you are left with a slew of shorty short wearing, sneaker wedge sporting, loose tanktopped women whose outfit matches perfectly that of girls fifteen years their junior.
Back in the day (in the 80s and 90s) there was a defining point of when a female went from girl to woman. This usually came with marriage or the birth of a child- which happened in her twenties. Saying ‘I do’ or pushing a baby out  seemingly got one a lobotomy as well, and women would trade their jumpers and their torn denim and their Doc Martens and their pigtails for palazzo pants, a simple blouse and sensible footwear (blarg). These days, marriage is scarce and childbirth seems to encourage people to dress their babies up like tiny little hipster versions of themselves.

I decided to conduct a real life experiment using my corporate office as a petri dish.

I traded my sneakers, tanks and shorty shorts for button ups, high wasted skirts and huge heels. Just for a week. I actually got up a whole ten min earlier and applied make up. And blew dried my hair. The result? The big bosses actually started asking my opinion in meetings, and everyone was a whole lot nicer.

So, the shallow jury is in. When you put effort into what you are wearing and you make it appropriate to the situation, people treat you with more respect.
With that said, note that there are exceptions to every rule. One of my besties conducts really important board meetings wearing a unicorn hoodie and looking about 18. But, she is a business shark and can talk any CEO into increasing her budget.
So wear whatever you want, if you can still hold your own with your brain. If you are 30 but dress like you are 20 and act like you are 20, then you got problems. But if you are a smart cookie and  like young fashion then fuck all the cunts who condescend you, they are just jealous that they are starting to ‘look their age’ and have to wear spanks to formal events.

The key to balancing your age and your clothing preferences is to ask yourself a few simple questions before leaving the house

1. Do I look like a 35 year old Lolita?
2. Did I used to wear this to rave parties 10 years ago?*
3. Am I wearing anything old or ripped (in a non fashionable way)?
4. Did this come from H&M for kids?
5. Am I wearing too many accessories?
If you answered yes, you definitely want to take a second look at what you have on. No one wants to appear matronly, so don’t feel the need to shop on the third floor of the department store (career woman, blargh). Just rock your own style, update it with some key pieces and dress for the situation.

*the 90’s are back and rave fashion is just around the corner, kiddies. I hope you kept your SNUG pants!


Luv M.H.

Seriously?

Am I really writing about this?

I didn’t think I had to, seeing how this is such an old problem and you’d think people would know better. Turns out, there is still a whole slew of girls with zero sense out there.

Okokok…so I’m a touch extra bitchy this morning seeing how I don’t ever get to have enough sleep, have no surface in my room (which is also filled with crap and boxes) to iron which basically makes me wear jeans and high tops everyday to work; which without a doubt is what’s making people treat me like a junior. Every time I step out of my house I see poverty and despair and faces of meth, and really living in the ghetto has lost it’s novelty.

Here is a tip, if anyone ever offers you a super fab apartment on the wrong side of the tracks, politely decline and look for something that is just ok in a fab part of town. You’d think your fab place would make you happy and make up for the ghettoness, but it really doesn’t.

It makes you want to drink 40s on the stoop while Biz Markie blasts from the stereo. And while in a cool neighborhood this makes you awesome and into old school hip hop, in a ghetto hood this, without a doubt leads to a crank addiction, and to feeling like a failure.

But I digress.

What I actually want to talk about today is how girls still have absolutely no idea how to dress themselves.

This weekend as I was driving from one major North American city to another I noticed a horrible trend.

Girls seem to have taken to wearing yoga pants on a road trip.

Understandably so, as yoga pants are comfortable and easy. Personally I am of the opinion that if you wear yoga pants anywhere outside of yoga ( or on the way to yoga or from yoga, with camping as a potential exception to the rule… Yoga pants and camping are ok) you should be taken out back and slapped around a bunch until you get some common sense slapped into that annoying head of yours. Just from that I can tell that you were that girl who wore the plaid pijama pants to class in uni and I wished you would pull yourself together even back then.

Let’s continue… I saw yoga pants more times than I can count on various women of various ages. But not only did these girls wear totally stupid looking pants in public, they were also pairing them with the worst footwear possible.

I saw yoga pants with UGGS (which pretty much makes me hiss and spit like an angry cat), yoga pants with high heels (really! What the eff?), and for la piece de resistance - yoga pants with cowboy boots.

Sigh.

This makes me sad for the world.

I wish I had some advice here but all I can tell you is that dressing for a road trip can involve many comfortable items that do not involve yoga pants.

I am starting to give up in humanity.

Dear New Readers: This post is a contribution to a series of posts called ‘Knowing what to Wear When…’ which deals with selecting proper attire for proper occasions.  You can see older entries here and here and here. Enjoy!

I semi recently moved to a city which requires proper winter gear.  I have lived in places where a good leather jacket with well chosen under layers got me through January and February, but I now find myself in a place where people actually wear balaclavas just to walk to the Metro. 

Winter is tricky.

Between being outdoors, taking public, frequenting an office or restaurant, the temperature fluctuations make it really difficult to know just how many layers one needs to be comfortable.  Winter CAN take a toll on your fashion choices and before you know it, you are leaving the house looking like someone’s Asian grandma. The other extreme is potentially even more horrendous, aka leaving the house underdressed and looking like a miserable pretentious asshole as you freeze your bum off.

Here are some surefire tips to keep you looking stylish and warm all winter long:

1.   Extremities: your feet, hands and head are the parts of the body that lose the most heat.  If you keep those warm, the rest of you will feel good too. Invest in a good pair of waterproof winter boots.  You are not a teenager in the 90s anymore, and functional footwear is totally ok now- look at Tory Burch making duck boots, and Chloe selling MoonBoots for over 450$. (On that note I beg you to not purchase either one of those styles are they are horrendous, but you get the point- functional footwear is now high fashion.)  Get yourself some nice fuzzy mitten/hat/scarf combos to match any outfit. 
2. Your Jacket:  layering 7 sweaters under your fall wool coat is only lying to yourself.  The layers make you look bulky and your movement is restricted.  How about you just get a warm jacket that is filled AND waterproof.  I own a classic leather down filled parka which is so warm that I only need to wear a light sweater underneath to be totally cozy and look well put together in a blizzard.  (That calf and those ducks are living out their destiny).  Now, I’m probably going to piss off a lot of people, but getting the same Canada Goose or Mackage coat as every bitch in town is a cop out.  Be creative, find your own style and try to keep your logos to a minimum.
3. Hoods: I can guarantee that you will feel 30% warmer if you get yourself a jacket with a hood.  Plus it makes you look adorable.
4. Things that look good under your winter gear= skinny jeans, thick fuzzy leggings, opaque wool tights.  Things that do not look good under your winter gear= nude or brown leggings, sheer pantyhose, wide legged jeans, or- horror of horrors- bare legs. Note, wearing tracky pants is only ok if you are going to the gym or heading out for leisure activities. 
5.  Carrying all your stuff: in the winter you will generally carry more things with you as you make your way to work: larger warmuppable lunch, shoes to change into, etc.  This is totally ok, but choose your bag carefully. First of all it needs to be big enough to contain ALL your belongings.  Having multiple packages makes you look disheveled.  At the same time, don’t over do it.  Prancing around with a hockey bag is unbecoming and makes you look like you are incapable of planning ahead.   Personally, I keep about 3 pairs of heels in my filing cabinet at work.
6. Things you should NEVER pair= high heeled boots with backpacks.  I cannot even begin to rant about how ridiculous this looks. Also, high heeled boots with sporty ski like jacket.  It is beyond me why anyone would want to wear high heeled boots in the snow (I see ladies awkwardly maneuver around trying to remain vertical in their chunky heels on ice), and I vote for getting flat winter footwear. If you absolutely must do it, make sure you are wearing a wool or leather coat that matches your footwear, and a shoulder bag of non sporty nature.           
7. Tractor bottom wedges are a totally acceptable way of cheating everyone into thinking that you are way more dressed up than you are. Going out in your winter boots is kiiinda sloppy.  Wedges make it seem as if you wore high shoes, but in reality you get to stomp over the snow banks, while the tractor sole keeps you upright.  Total win.
8. Layering: Temperature fluctuations are a given this time of year and you want to keep your layers versatile.  Opt for button up cardis, and tshirts as opposed to tank tops underneath, so that you can remove layers without being too naked.  Being a sweaty mess in the winter is possible and quite unbecoming. 
9. Clubbing: I see it all the time.  Girls heading out in the evening wearing sheer pantyhose and OPEN TOE SHOES in -20 degree weather.  It makes me half giggle, half want to smack them across the excessively lipsticked mouth.  There is nothing sexy about frostbite.  There ARE ways of looking good for the club even on the coldest nights.

Stay Warm and avoid looking like a winter disaster!!

Love, Modern Hussy.  

Working in fashion makes you become one of two people: a complete fashion scenester spewing collection details as soon as they come off the runway, namedropping as much as possible, and wearing fucked up get ups that include purple velvet and a hairpiece with a tiny hat on it, or a scarf made out of gloves. ORRR it makes you totally hate fashion and people associated with it, driving you to buy only really expensive, but not overly branded items in the colour black.

If you have been following the Hussy for longer than a minute you can prooooobably guess that I am the latter.

There is a slew of issues that need to be discussed in this pretentious area, but today I wanted to focus on something specific: ladies clothing.

I think it is great to be stylish, to follow trends and to dress in a way that makes you feel like a million bucks. The issue lies in the fact that many women who follow fashion dress for fashion and not for actual womanly sexiness, or anything that flatters their body.

Very often women dress for other women (who also follow fashion), and guess what?

Chicks have terrible taste and appear to have no idea what makes a female look attractive. 

True story!

Why else would there be such a plethora of girls dressing to look like tranny hookers or homeless hobo orphans (two extremely popular looks at present time)? Everyday, I see women sporting outfits that make them deter the male species. 

Calf length skirts matched with peasant blouses? 

High waisted Scheisse pants? 

Anything with feathers on it? 

Etc.

I’m sure Vogue told you it is all the rage, but you know what? I am not so sure that dudes are interested in banging a matronly grandmother or big hipped mom type.

KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE!  

Now, I know that we are supposed to dress for ourselves to feel good about ourselves, but isn’t the main purpose of our existence to lure some unsuspecting soul into our sexy trap to have our way with?  Think about your single lady friends, who are obsessed with finding someone to date, love or bang at any given time.  So why is it that they dress in a way that makes people confused/ scared, and not attracted?

Girls obsess over having the latest, trendiest items from fashion pages, and cannot imagine life without another pair of ridiculously expensive shoes.  While most of the time, a man finds a girl sexiest when she is wearing his shirt and zero make up.  He does NOT care that her top is Isabel Marrant, he mostly just wants to see it on the floor of his bedroom. 

Please note that I am not suggesting you start dressing like a slob and stop taking care of your appearance.  The point of today’s entry is to realize that not all trends should be followed religiously, and that sexiness actually results from confidence, the way you carry yourself and clothing that suits your figure. 

Dear Fashion, 

Since you have not replied to my letter yet, I have decided that I am just going to make up my own rules and share them with the world. 

Every girl wants to know how to look stylish without spending a fortune, and while a little planning is required, fashion should be easy, painless and make a girl look effortlessly striking.

The best way to achieve this is to purchase pieces that do not go out of style (read: black and structured) and can be changed up / made to look more expensive than they are with the use of accessories and really amazing shoes.

Now, the question of shoes… as much as I adore wearing skyhigh heels, sometimes putting them on in the a.m. kinda feels as wrong (?) as having Jamieson for breakfast.  Additionally, being tired or hung over really limits one’s judgement on what is appropriate for the office.  I will not tell you how to dress, since everyone should rock their individual style, but I CAN give you pointers on how to make life easier in terms of clothing.  Please see below some true and tested rules to what the Modern Hussy considers to be successful dress for the workplace:

Hussy’s rules to dressing well while maintaining a freelancer’s lifestyle

1. Own a large leather bag- preferably black. It can carry a pair of Toms in case u can’t make it the entire day in your heels.  Yes, I know what I said about wearing the same shoes you left the house in… but that rule mostly has to do with social outings.  I do rock amazing heels to work 3 out of 5 weekdays.  However, on those mornings when you are running 15 min late, have spilled something on self, and have to sprint to the metro, a comfy pair of flats can be a lifesaver.
2.  Your large bag can also help you carry a back up outfit, in case you did not make it home the night before, as well as your lunch, make up, yoga gear, phone, day planner, etc.  There is nothing worse than travelling to work with five different bags storing your belongings. 
3. Keep a pair of black pumps at the office- the other day I wore a Batman t-shirt I stole from a boy and skinny jeans.  This could have looked like the morning after outfit It really was, but instead, paired with really good rock inspired high heels made it edgy. These ‘at work heels’ also come in handy when you forgot you had an important prezzie and just wore your flats.
4.  No kitten heels. Everrrrrrrr.  You can do a mid heel, high heel or flat.
5.  If you dressed up but put on Flip Flops, it doesn’t count.
6. Unless you are really good at mixing prints, keep your colour palette muted and basic with a couple of trendy pops.  Muted pinks, mauves and beiges are good at the moment.  My wardrobe consists of mostly black, white, grey, and red. I wish I was one of those girls who can rock clashing prints, sadly this style makes me look like I crawled out of a gypsy fairytale, so I stick to the basics. 
7. Buy good quality fabrics. The most basic super soft premium tee looks miles better than anything acrylic no matter how trendy it is.  Nice fabrics last longer and make you pettable.  Additionally, faux fabrics + stress & sweat = bad scene.
8. Nothing bedazzled.  Everrrrrrrr.
9. When trying to look serious and professional, take an objective look at the overall effect of your outfit. The other day I had to surpress the horrified look on my face upon seeing one of the girls at the office who looked like an Amy-Winehouse-tranny-hooker: all in black, with hidden platform stilettos, fishnets, high waisted pencil skirt, boobascular top, more black eyeliner than an teen goth, giant faux pearl necklace, and pouffed up bleached hair.  Hideous au max!!! There is a difference between looking professional and like a professional.     
10. Don’t wear anything you have to tug on or fidget in.  If your skirt keeps riding up, potentially you should not wear it to work.  Avoid situations when you have to adjust parts of your outfit.  Simple is better!
11. Beware of anything too revealing or see through.  My good friend C recalls an episode where she was getting briefed for a project by a sexy woman wearing a see through top: at the end of the meeting her and her partner had absolutely no clue about the assignment they were given, as they spent the meeting trying to catch a glimpse of seemingly perfect breast.  Sex sells, but if you want to send your message across, cover up your bits.   
12. If at all possible, mentally plan your outfit before you fall asleep.  Ensure that all the things you want to wear are clean.  If you have to check for cleanliness, you should probably go for an alternate option.   

I hope this helps!  Now what the F#%$k am I going to wear tomorrow?

Love

M.H.

This week’s post is part one of a two part post I decided to write (it was just getting too long). Part 2 coming soon….

Dear Fashion

I’m a thirty something professional in the fashion field and currently you are making my life difficult.

The novelty of rotating my 5 biz cas outfits has worn off about a week after I started my new job, anyways when I wake up in the morning after not sleeping enough because I was blogging , partying, getting jiggy, gallivanting around town or any other typico young urban professional activity (yes that DOES spell YUP), I really need a simple formula .

My go-to easy outfits get enough rotation as it is, since I happen to have a lot of these late nights, and can’t get bothered in the morning.

I used to roll out and roll over to my desk happily clad in short shorts (which is coincidentally how I function best ), but now not only do I have to bathe and rush my cappuccino , but I’m expected to plan my meals for the day AND get dressed? WTF? Need a personal life assistant pronto!

No wonder most mornings I just gravitate naturally to jeans + high tops + my Popeye T-shirt , which I can thankfully get by with since all my sneakers are ‘limited’ and I’m considered the street wear expert at work . However, then I get to the office and see all the girls trot around in their office finest and I kinda feel like the rave attending ‘alternative drama kid’ in high school, in a sea of Tragically Hip loving clones . ..(so really nothing has changed in 16 years?)

Now don’t get me wrong, I love dressing up and looking like a girl, I just don’t want it to suck as much as it does, also I don’t want to look like everyone else. Clearly I’m not the only one having issues with this as every morning I see total fucking trainwrecks going to work: red cowboy boots with lady suit , leggings as pants w a lululemon top NOT for working out, ballerinas w buckles and hardware (puke), the list goes on. Thank gawd I’m either half asleep or reading most days because 90% of the people I see in the morning really offend me. The 10% effortlessly striking ladies, tho… I am so jealous and I want to learn all their tricks.

I made an effort to go to the shops with the intention of purchasing some easy work clothes that would make me feel office appropriate while not sacrificing my (amazing) style.

It sucked.

Do you live in North America? Have u been to the shops? Between the bad poly cotton blends of Zara + HM, and the trying too hard prep fest of Banana Republic (which will inevitably make me look like an asshole) there really isn’t much … Not to mention that every other broad in the office will be sporting this season’s shirt dress from Zara! Meanwhile, the high end boutiques overcharge for all the same Scandinavia inspired crap I can get in Hong Kong for a fraction of the price.

What’s an awesome self-respecting corporate whore with an alternative side to do?

Fashion, I’m impatiently awaiting for your reply.

Sincerely, Modern Hussy

Everybody wants to look stylish and in fashion, but with the speed trends are passing these days, it is almost impossible to know what’s still hot and what’s expired.  One can only surf the blogs so much to remain relevant, and let’s face it, not all the things on the internot are current or a good idea (note: shaisse pants are NEVER a good idea).  This is why the Modern Hussy tries to choose looks that last longer than 15 minutes, and completely ignores the trends that don’t suit her.  You want to catch a trend when it is either at the early adopter stage, OR the early mainstream.  If you are not careful, you could get caught wearing something as atrocious as Skecher ShapeUps and pretty much ruin any chance at a favourable fashion status.   

The Modern Hussy has compiled a list of tips that should help you determine whether last season’s trends are still ok today. 

1. A trend is OVER if you see someone under the age of 13 or over the age of 60 sporting it.  Example: fluo nails.  Hot two summers ago, last year sported only at twink-pop parties, this summer rocked by old ladies, tacky au max and totally played out.   
2. A trend is OVER if it becomes a caricature of itself.  Example: Roman sandals.  When they started circa summer 2007 they were fresh with elegant details.  They were over when girls started wearing Roman sandals that went all the way up to the thigh.  Example 2: oversized off the shoulder shirts. Just a peak of shoulder or a well proportioned  upper back= hot. So off your shoulder that your entire back is exposed and you are pretty much wearing said shirt as a belt…. and it’s hideous.    Subtle is good / overdone is bad.
3. A trend is OVER if you see entire groups of friends wearing the exact same thing. Example: just two days ago in my most favourite Euro city I saw five boys al sporting tshirts with block letter slogans- each one had a different slogan (in the same font) and as they passed by it looked like a book turned itself into people format.  It was a little much. 
4. Trust your gut!  I loved tights in hot pink or electric blue, and it was really difficult to admit that it is time to stop wearing them.  Before you leave the house, look in the mirror objectively and think of how you feel.  If you feel stupid, you probably look stupid.  If you are still in doubt, text a photo of yourself to a friend, pronto. (I would like to thank my girlfriends: J, T, and A for giving me constant feedback on my outfits and thus aiding me in not looking like a 30something year old Lolita, or worse- high school art teacher).
5. Recognize which trends go well together.  Putting on ALL THE THINGS that you think are hot at any given time makes you look like you threw up Nylon Magazine all over yourself.  Learn how to accentuate your look with one or two interesting accessories.  Before you leave the house, take a last look and TAKE OFF ONE THING (preferably not your top- unless it’s one of those nights). 
6. If a pseudo commercial ‘rap’ song is written about your trend, it’s time to let it go. Think: boots with the fur, or American Apparel tights. 
7. Just because the famous people are doing it, doesn’t mean that you should.  I was in permanent cringe mode when all the Agyness Deyn lookalikes came into the mainstream three years ago when she was cool.  Here is the thing…unless you are giraffe tall, stick thin, and look like a boy+girl+elf, most of the looks she pulls off make normal people look like a homeless man who has just pooped his pants.

This is all for today.  I am really tired and would like to point out that the airport in Newark sucks more than any other airport!

Love from the Hussy!