modern hussy's etiquette

This weekend the Modern Hussy did some heavy house work in a heat wave, which pretty much resulted in a uniform of short shorts and high tops, and a slightly disheveled overall appearance.

I was running all over town buying things and carrying things not really paying too much attention to how I looked.

As I was walking down the street carrying a mop and bucket I couldn’t believe the looks I was getting from the boys, entertwined with very nice compliments (which I graciously thanked for).

Writing it off as a weird twilight zone event (and figuring that my shirt was probably see through) I did not see this as anything important, but in the days to come, as I gallivanted around with weird objects, slightly flustered, the looks and compliments continued.

I spoke with some experienced male flirts to see if I could find any kind of moral from the weekend.

Turns out there totally was!

My interviewed experts said that, while they’ll totally oogle a super dressed up girl with sky high heels and mega cleavage, they are much more likely to chat up a girl who is a little bit of a mess, yet still looks totally cute. She seems much more approachable and easy going, and if she is carrying around weird things, you can tell that she doesn’t take herself too seriously and is less likely to be high maintenance.

Please see below a list of suggested objects, which can be used to get attention:

1. Totally awesome made in Germany vintage city bike. If there is a basket on it strap size inappropriate things to the basket (giant bags of ice, flowers, a painting, baguette- so obvious yet it totally works).

2. A Playstation. My amazing male friend DS said that his fiancee told him when she came back from Future Shop with a Playstation 3, it was like she looked like a pig on a spit and all the men had not eaten in days

3. Vintagey objects such as an old butter box, record players, chairs

4. School or profession related objects such as architectural models, musical instruments.

4. Cleaning accessories (broom, bucket). Totally gives you that whole pin up girl effect.

5. Heavy things such as suitcases or mystery boxes. If the boy offers to help, you’re golden!

Note that dropping things adds to the overall effect and makes you appear extra adorable. Slightly klutzy is totally cute.

What Not To Do:

1. Do not take it overboard and keep dropping things while spilling ice cream on yourself (or whatever). You want to appear just a shade of a mess, not a total train wreck.

2. Do not do these things in super high heels or restrictive attire. This method works best in your fave band t-shirt, short shorts or those bum hugging jeans.

3. Do not overplan. This only works if it is not forced or intentional.

4. Lose the attitude. Even if you got the look perfectly, no one will talk to you if you are still rocking an intense bitch face.

5. Be gracious. If someone compliment you say ‘thank you’. If you are not interested keep walking, but if he is cute be prepared to talk about whatever it is you are carrying. (For more tips on compliments read this)

Have fun!

And never be ashamed about carrying around a mop and a bucket!

I have been living in a pretty great city all summer. It has been fun and boy crazy and filled with amazing friends, amazing food and amazing times. 

However in all my boy crazy ways I have noticed a recurring trend: everyday, at least two times a day, I get complimented by a different hobo.  We are not talking anything lewd or inappropriate.  These hobos have been very specific and complimentary on my appearance, choice of accessories, outfit matchiness, kick ass shoes, etc…. It’s kinda nice. However, hobos are the ONLY strangers who compliment me and I am NOT hideous! 

My friends and I have been contemplating this phenomenon trying to figure out why am I such hobo bait, and have come up with several possibilities:

I often have food stains on me ( I spill… I can’t help it) and that is attractive to them; I do walk through the prime hobo park on my way to the gym like, everyday; I do wear some pretty racy outfits (specifically in the summer); more often than not, people ‘accidentally’ spill beer on me, and I imagine reeking like beer is a quality hobos look for in a girl; and last and most likely- HOBOS HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE. 

So now…. Here is the thing.  While I do enjoy the compliments from the hobos, I can’t help but wish that boys who actually have flats and jobs would compliment girls when they walk down the street! I have talked to some handsome and employed boys about it and they said that they don’t blatantly stare at pretty girls on the street because it makes them nervous and because they are afraid of seeming creepy.

Specific Boy Etiquette:

Boys, complimenting a girl is really not that hard.  Don’t do it in a leery and smarmy way. Examples of what NOT to say ‘Nice tits’, ‘Wanna F%#k?’, ‘Hey Baby’, or anything referring to the sex industry.

Things you should say include: ‘You look pretty today’, ‘Those are some kick ass shoes’, ‘You have a nice smile’. Often a simple ‘Wow!’ does the trick.  Try and look for visual cues and be specific.  Using the same one liner on every girl who walks by= wrong. Looking for real things you like about her and complimenting her= correct!

Specific Girl Etiquette:   

Girls, there is a reason why non-creepy boys often do not compliment girls and often are afraid to even look in their direction.  Girls can act like bitches when it comes to accepting compliments, often ignoring the dude, making a mean face, telling him to ‘f%$k off’, or simply acting or saying something uncomfortable, like ‘ This old thing?’ or ‘Whatever, I look fat today’.  This is not positive reinforcement for boys.  If you want boys to say nice things to you, you have to act in a way that makes them want to do it.  Now, obviously not every dude you pass on the street is THE ONE, but if a boy has taken the initiative to compliment you, you should learn how to react graciously.  Say ‘Thank you’, or ‘That’s really sweet’, or shoot him a genuine smile.  You don’t have to make out with him, you don’t even have to talk to him past that.  But acknowledge the fact that he has said something nice to you.  It’s only polite!  But if you ARE interested in talking to him further, well, he just made the first move, so now it is up to you to follow up with some witty banter that shows off just how awesome you are.      

Follow up Boy Etiquette:  

With all that said, boys please understand the effects of a compliment.  Not every girl you compliment will be THE ONE or will want to make out with you.  Compliment girls to make them feel good, not because you expect something in return.  Be genuine and potentially more girls will talk to you. 

In our technology infused lives, more people are staring at their I-products in public than staring at one another.  Frankly, I think that this is making a lot of people lose real life flirting skills, and those come in handy if you want to mack on a real girl and/or boy, instead of macking on someone’s interweb photo (for all you know they are hideous and just really skillful with photoshop).  Besides, what would you rather do: use the ‘poke’ function on the Facebook or get someone attractive to touch your naughty bits? You decide.