“Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lighting that does the work”, Mark Twain
We all know that you are a special and unique creature so different than the norm that the world should hail your special skills and every one should be interested. Your mom always did tell you that your acrylic paintings of Venetian masks reveal your sensitive side (yet she has not put them up since you were in the 2nd grade).
Now, when entering a potentially romantic relationship there is a time one should wait to reveal their special talents to their object of interest. While using sex as an ice breaker is acceptable in certain situations, one should never whip out their artist side on the first date, or earlier.
Well, in a relationship we are trained to be interested in our significant other’s special skills. Sometimes this allows us to be exposed to a completely new scene or type of entertainment (like kite surfing or the roller derby). This strengthens our coupleness and lets us experience new things. However, sometimes one is not as talented as one would like to think and while our partner thinks that the emo poetry about one’s cat is adorable, they only think so because they have fallen for the other wonderful qualities first.
Let me give you an example.
I once (briefly) dabbled in online dating and any dude who could play the guitar intrigued me further (nothing better than good guitar players…).
I will preface this story with the disclaimer that I was raised on music. I was sent to music school from a very early age, have dabbled in several instruments and was only allowed to listen to classical for the greater part of my youth (I used to hide my 2LiveCrew cassettes in the mattress, but that is a different topic). As a result of this, I have a pretty good ear for instruments and can judge a person’s skills in the blink of an eye. So, the male in question, and I exchanged a couple of emails and I liked what he wrote. He then mentioned that he was in a band, which definitely scored him some points. Then, before we had met, he sent me zip file after zip file of his band’s music. I eagerly downloaded the first song and turned up the sound… with the first strumming of a BADLY TUNED GUITAR my interest died as did any chance of him getting into my pants.
You think that is too harsh? I don’t. How good of a potential partner can be a dude who doesn’t even bother to tune his guitar before a recording session?… or maybe he couldn’t hear that it was out of tune, I can’t possibly date someone who puts out bad music!!! He might fall in love with me and write some out of tune crap ballad that I will be forced to get jiggy to. Furthermore, he obviously thinks this stuff is amazing, if he is sending it off to a girl he has never met. Yes, I judged, and then completely wrote him off.
It’s a cruel world out there, people are scared of weirdos and are quick to judge. Revealing too many of your talents too early is the equivalent of being emotionally slutty. You can make an impression by just being your fabulous self! So in the future, don’t write your new s.o. a poem, keep your creepy doll collection and your scrapbooking and your installation art for AT LEAST the third date (even if you are 100% convinced that they are really really really really good). Have some decency!