I have been living in a pretty great city all summer. It has been fun and boy crazy and filled with amazing friends, amazing food and amazing times.
However in all my boy crazy ways I have noticed a recurring trend: everyday, at least two times a day, I get complimented by a different hobo. We are not talking anything lewd or inappropriate. These hobos have been very specific and complimentary on my appearance, choice of accessories, outfit matchiness, kick ass shoes, etc…. It’s kinda nice. However, hobos are the ONLY strangers who compliment me and I am NOT hideous!
My friends and I have been contemplating this phenomenon trying to figure out why am I such hobo bait, and have come up with several possibilities:
I often have food stains on me ( I spill… I can’t help it) and that is attractive to them; I do walk through the prime hobo park on my way to the gym like, everyday; I do wear some pretty racy outfits (specifically in the summer); more often than not, people ‘accidentally’ spill beer on me, and I imagine reeking like beer is a quality hobos look for in a girl; and last and most likely- HOBOS HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE.
So now…. Here is the thing. While I do enjoy the compliments from the hobos, I can’t help but wish that boys who actually have flats and jobs would compliment girls when they walk down the street! I have talked to some handsome and employed boys about it and they said that they don’t blatantly stare at pretty girls on the street because it makes them nervous and because they are afraid of seeming creepy.
Specific Boy Etiquette:
Boys, complimenting a girl is really not that hard. Don’t do it in a leery and smarmy way. Examples of what NOT to say ‘Nice tits’, ‘Wanna F%#k?’, ‘Hey Baby’, or anything referring to the sex industry.
Things you should say include: ‘You look pretty today’, ‘Those are some kick ass shoes’, ‘You have a nice smile’. Often a simple ‘Wow!’ does the trick. Try and look for visual cues and be specific. Using the same one liner on every girl who walks by= wrong. Looking for real things you like about her and complimenting her= correct!
Specific Girl Etiquette:
Girls, there is a reason why non-creepy boys often do not compliment girls and often are afraid to even look in their direction. Girls can act like bitches when it comes to accepting compliments, often ignoring the dude, making a mean face, telling him to ‘f%$k off’, or simply acting or saying something uncomfortable, like ‘ This old thing?’ or ‘Whatever, I look fat today’. This is not positive reinforcement for boys. If you want boys to say nice things to you, you have to act in a way that makes them want to do it. Now, obviously not every dude you pass on the street is THE ONE, but if a boy has taken the initiative to compliment you, you should learn how to react graciously. Say ‘Thank you’, or ‘That’s really sweet’, or shoot him a genuine smile. You don’t have to make out with him, you don’t even have to talk to him past that. But acknowledge the fact that he has said something nice to you. It’s only polite! But if you ARE interested in talking to him further, well, he just made the first move, so now it is up to you to follow up with some witty banter that shows off just how awesome you are.
Follow up Boy Etiquette:
With all that said, boys please understand the effects of a compliment. Not every girl you compliment will be THE ONE or will want to make out with you. Compliment girls to make them feel good, not because you expect something in return. Be genuine and potentially more girls will talk to you.
In our technology infused lives, more people are staring at their I-products in public than staring at one another. Frankly, I think that this is making a lot of people lose real life flirting skills, and those come in handy if you want to mack on a real girl and/or boy, instead of macking on someone’s interweb photo (for all you know they are hideous and just really skillful with photoshop). Besides, what would you rather do: use the ‘poke’ function on the Facebook or get someone attractive to touch your naughty bits? You decide.