“A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.” Coco Chanel 

When attending a formal or semi formal event (wedding, party, club night) or anything that requires the use of high heels please make sure to wear shoes that fit you properly.  I have seen you, you pitiful little creature, arriving all primped out at the beginning of the night, only to be slithering away like a cheap slithering thing with your heels slung over your shoulder or worse, mashed into your tiny purse before dawn.

I have seen you coming to the event with flats or WORSE flip flops in your purse, changing into them the minute you slam back a few vodka cranberries. Let’s not even talk about removing shoes and going barefoot in public…. because that just makes me angry.

Please note: if you dressed up but put on flip flops, it doesn’t count. 

Please note: if you are wearing a fancy outfit with Havaianas you look stupid and dancing to Lady Gaga makes you look like a dolt.

I have a rule when wearing heels (which is pretty much everyday after sundown- sneakers at night are to be rocked only for selected dj gigs).  I wear ridiculously high stilettos, but can dance up a storm in them when needed.  Some shoes also act like an alarm clock: if I cannot stand to wear them any longer, it is time to go home- convenient for the nights I absolutely swear to go home by 2 a.m.  I also have rules with exposing of the feet but that’s a topic for another entry.

Please note the following tips for selecting shoes that you can stay in all night.

  1. If when trying them on you resemble Bambi on ice, it is not meant to be.  You will look much stupider walking on pavement and other uneven surfaces
  2. If you ignore previous rule and there is no return policy practice at home and wear the shoes ONLY for events where you are not required to walk much (such as dinner) and while you are being driven around by a gentleman friend.  
  3. Don’t lie to yourself. If you have fat feet (guilty) do not try to jam them into thin silhouettes such as Laboutins, it will NEVER work.  Try alternative brands such as Alexander Mcqueen, and for more price conscious choices: Fornarina and Miss Sixty
  4. Gummy insoles are your best friend
  5. Carry around bandaids. Always. They can save a night.
  6. After having purchased new footwear, stick them into a freezer for 20 min. After this, wear them.  This softens the leather, thus breaking them in faster.  Note that this works only on leather or suede and is useless with synthetics… which you shouldn’t be buying anyway (we will talk about this in future entries).
  7. Take advantage of the fact that wedges are really in style for the last 2 seasons and this trend will continue into Fall /Winter 2011
  8. Practice makes perfect. I have seen too many girls who look like they are a teetering drunk bear on a tightrope in heels.  No one expects you to be a natural in big girl shoes.  Start with 3 cm, wear them in the house, and aim for short time periods.  Also note that the PROPER way to walk in heels is to do it in a way where you can’t hear the heel clicking on the pavement (taken from Anastassia Khozissova’s stiletto bootcamp- it is hard but looks far better).

If you take these rules into consideration, in no time you could be strutting with confidence.  I think I only mastered a proper / confident stride after the two years of living in a certain Italian city and trying to make it home through cobblestones on a three Negroni night.