If you have been reading this blog for a while you may have noticed that I talk about bums a lot.  Showing them, not showing them, when to flash them, how to dress them and how to use them to your advantage.  One anonymous reader has noted this and asked me what one should do to have a nicely fitted bottom for the upcoming summer season.  Spring has only just arrived and there is still time to get your bottom in perfect upside down heart shape just in time for those shorty shorts and days of lounging by some kind of body of water. 

So here we go, this week’s post is about how to get your ass in shape for summer.  

Step One:

Exercise.  No one can ever convince me that you can arrive to a nice bum without some serious lunges.  Sitting on a chair all day while eating cookies at the office is not helping anyone, but most of us sedentary workers really have no choice.  So after or before work, make sure you give your bum a maintenance session 10-15 minutes a day.  Not a huge commitment, yet a world of benefits.  Personally I dislike crazy contraptions most people use at the gym and prefer to use dumbells and/ or my own body weight to get a work out in.   The following exercises can be done pretty much anywhere, and do not require any equipment. 

  1. Squats 3 sets x 12 reps. Knees hip width apart, stick your bum out as far as it will go and sit down in an imaginary chair behind you.  Go down lower than you think you can go and make sure you keep your abs sucked in. 
  2. Lunges 3 sets x 12 reps. Personally I am a big fan of jumping lunges, way better burn and way better effects, but if you are a wimp or a beginner, you can do the regular ones, maybe with some weights (or waterbottles).
  3. Stairs.  Find a flight and go at it.  Jump 2 stairs at a time for way better results.  Alternatively find a chair or bench and step up on it, alternating legs after 12 reps. This gets you a super nice booty.  Forreals.

I am fairly certain that there is a plethora of other bumcersizes and I encourage you to do any you like.  The ones mentioned above and the bread and butter or butts, and ones I personally implement into my workouts.

Step Two

Maintenance:

I feel like bums often get left out during the cleaning and primping procedures people go thru.  While we put a lot of effort into shaving our legs, moisturizing our faces and ensuring the rest of the body is smooth and covered with some kinda lotion, bums are often just washed and covered up with a pair of undies.  To keep the skin on your bum young and taut, one needs to pay more attention.  Definitely use some kind of a loofah on your bum.  Our booties need additional circulation after being sat on all day, and being squeezed into that pair of skinnies from Uniqlo, and you also want to exfoliate off the dead skin cells.  Use alternating warm and cold water for an even more intense massage.  Afterwards, make sure you moisturize!  When dressing think about what you expose your booty to.  If you are planning to wear jeans, make sure you wear Full underwear and not a thong.  Putting jeans directly on your bum skin is like dressing a baby up in sandpaper.  Protect your bum!!!

I hope this helps and answers your questions, Anonymous.

Additionally to this, please refer back to my old post on booty shorts, as a reminder of appropriate dressing.           http://modernhussy.tumblr.com/day/2010/08/30

Love, the Modern Hussy