I’ve been Kinda depressed lately.
There has been a series of events that have me feeling down. I can’t pin point it to anything is particular really, and nothing horribly bad has happened … I just feel a general defeat when I look at the state of my appartment (still don’t own a bed and have nowhere to sit, still haven’t painted the walls).
Ya, I know, I just moved in, but for some reason I keep finding excuses such as ‘I have to leave for the weekend to get blindingly drunk with friends’, or ‘star in a music video..’. Clearly those things are more important than having a house that I can actually live in… I’d be ok with It, if it wasn’t for my eastern euro mother complaining how she is going to be a dinosaur by the time I finally let myself get impregnated and asking me why I don’t want to buy a nice house in the suburbs and get a car and marry a nice rich man, instead of gallivanting downtown in dive bars, riding a city bike.
Although I feel like i don’t want those things and I feel like I am doing the right things, her opinion still makes me tres confused and I can’t help but wonder whether she is right. After all I have been wrong before: that shade of blondissima hair dye did nothing for my complexion and raver pants DID go out of style…
So who knows.
Also I’m really impatient and I expect overnight results for all the things and when overnight results don’t come it pretty much makes me want to hide under the covers until conditions improve.
But here is a news flash- conditions don’t improve when you are hiding under the covers.
Additionally, thanks to working in fashion I have discovered two things:
1- I hate fashion except for maybe like five brands. I think that this season’s trends are bullshit and wouldn’t be caught dead wearing Zara’s floral print or anything with Navajo inserts. (did anyone actually think the whole Navajo trend wouldn’t look old and used up in like a minute?).
And 2- I hate most people who work in fashion. Seeing all these bitches spewing useless garbage with the words ‘so cuuuute!’, ‘commercial’ and ‘Givenchy’ thrown in every other word makes me want to drink bleach. No, wait, it makes me want to put bleach in their skinny lattes.
The fact that people are now cutting one another up and putting the parts in the post is really affecting me and makes me think that we are all doomed and humanity should deffo just start over.
My fringe has gotten to that annoying length where it is so long that it goes into my eyes, giving me headaches and nausea and makes me blink a lot like I have teenage angst.
Also, I just really REALLY want an artichoke from White Trash in Berlin, but my damn corporate job with it’s regular hours and it’s measly pay won’t allow me to gallivant the world as I used to.
Fuck this shit.
I’m going to go get some oysters and a martini so dirty that other drinks will be too ashamed to hang out with it.