Miscommunication surrounds us.
People rarely say what they mean and the addition texting and emailing leaves even more to the interpretation.
One of my favest podcasters and all around awesome personas, Dan Savage, claims that most people act like those surrounding them should be fucking mind readers. This statement goes for relationships, but can also be applied to part time lovers and friends.
How can people meet our needs if we never express what those needs are?
People can be amazingly intuitive and know you really really well and still have absolutely no idea what it is you actually feel when you answer ‘Nothing!’ to the ubiquitous ‘What’s wrong?’.
The truth is, you have to be really specific about your expectations, and if you do not announce them, you do not really have the right to be angry or disappointed when things do not turn out the way you wanted.
Women are specifically bad at this, as we have been conditioned to hide our feelings. Some women do not like to appear too demanding or a pain in the butt, therefore they remain silent when they should be communicating. Most men, on the other hand, are generally oblivious to the subtleties of a woman’s mood.
But this issue can be addressed for both sexes.
To have your expectations met, you have to SPELL THEM OUT.
I don’t even mean hint or act discreetly.
I mean express very specifically what it is you need.
This can be applied to anything: if you want your partner to do the dishes, if you need some time alone, if you want to be more than part time lovers, if you really want that bling necklace for Christmas, if you need him or her to get you off a certain way. Your partner will be thankful for not having to have to decipher your deep sighs, your moping, and your aggressive cleaning (or whatever).
If they do not appreciate you being so direct you should probably surround yourself with different people.
Note however, that if you have to constantly tell your partner how to act with you, he or she is potentially disinterested in your needs. Time to look for another partner.
This week, I give you all the assignment to say what you mean!
Love, Modern Hussy