As you may be able to tell from the lateness of my posts, I have entered the corporate world for a moment. Don’t worry guys, I will not leave you. I now have more valuable life etiquette lessons than ever. You get exposed to a lot of people’s rudeness when you are actually forced to leave the house for more than to get drinks, pick up food and / or boys.
I love the work. It is stimulating, having collegues to bounce ideas off of and working as part of a talented team is amazing and challenging. I’m happy!
What I do hate… is lunch.
Let’s start off with the fact that I work in fashion, and half those bitches don’t eat. Everyone is really busy / thin and survives on skinny lattes and the occasional snack. As much as I’m in favour of the heroin chic look, and think most people should eat less, I do need healthy food to function, and don’t like having to have to eat it while I work.
I miss European lunch, which took 2+ hours and came with the option of half a liter of water OR wine….
It is one thing to talk projects, discuss trends and strategies, but when I have to hang with strangers who I am only remotely interested in on a personal level for an hour… Shouldn’t lunch be YOUR time? A time when you take off your pants, eat something delicious- and freshly prepared, maybe watch an episode of Pretty Little Liars or porn…?
It should be relaxing and stress free, and most importantly spent only with people you actually like. Instead, you are sitting in uncomfortable chairs, eating overpriced wholegrain tuna wraps, and having polite conversation about ‘safe’ topics. Who would have thought that saying ‘vagina’ over lunch is so schocking? Siiiiiiiigh…. The corporate world doesn’t get me at all.
Of course there is no way of getting out of it, you are expected to be a team player and hiding away at lunch, or leaving the office makes you the opposite of that. Companies don’t like that. They like team players. It saddens me that my performance will be judged not only on my skills, but on networking and social behavior as well.
So what can I do?
I can’t train myself to stop using swearwords as punctuation, or not eat, or wear pants.
Anyone need a trophy wife?